i feel okay. not fat like i usually do. but not skinny either. just pleasantly accepting.
i feel like i annoy people non-stop. i annoy myself, that's for sure. is there a medicine for that? is there a medicine to stop being so jealous of everyone? is there a medicine to make me love myself as much as people claim they do?
anyway. i have 20 monsters left. drank two, gave one to zach, one to justin. i want to make them last. i think.
zachary keeps me stable. andrea keeps me stable. friends keep me stable. i don't need a psychiatrist.
994 songs and nothing to listen to. my phone keeps turning off randomly because i dropped it today. i feel bad, because she knows she's being replaced soon, so she's trying to kill herself from the inside out. i know she's not real, she's a phone, but she's a part of me. i'm sorry, phonequa. maybe you and my new shiny sidekick, spudskin, can be friends.
i think i care about my phone too much.
i went to draw today, got bored, decided i'd rather write on here and talk to friends. i wonder if any of my friends think of me the way i think of them, feel for me the way i feel about them.
i wish everyone wasn't going to university. i want them to all not graduate and stay with me forever.
i hope we can still stay close. justin said we'd still be friends, that i was too important to forget in just three years.
i hope he means that.
i still get to see zachary next year.
i have to focus, get good grades, try to find the fun in school..
i'm looking forward to the new year.
i could use a new beginning, but more importantly, an end to all this.
