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Saturday, April 30, 2011

nothingness.

Okay.
I don't wanna think about this anymore.
I just woke up.
Today was generally a bad time.
I deleted my tumblr and made my blog private.
I just didnt want people to keep reading stuff.
Sigh. Now to wait for you to call me.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

gosh, okay.


YAY!
Tyler took it!
Uhm, uhm, we were at
Reza's.
Today will bring nothing but guaranteed happiness.
mmmthursdays. Ive been journaling more. And Tumblr-ing.
And...eating.

Monday, April 25, 2011

fuck letters.

Everything's pretty fantastic..
Not going to lie

Thursday, April 21, 2011

day two.

Dear crush,


....




Nope.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

day one

dear best friend,

I'm not sure what to say. Don't get me wrong, I have a BUNCH to say, I just..can't.
It might be because of how easily you were able to leave me.
Not a single bit of remorse from forgetting about my existence completely!
I can't blame you though..
But, didn't we have some good times? You can't say they meant nothing!
You can't look at the Adventure Book, and go,
"oh, yeah, that's just a collection of everything that mattered to me less than half a year ago, no big deal."
I'm not necessarily hurt, I just...am pretending nothing happened.
I need you, best friend.

benches and forks.


Nothing, today.
Happy 4/20.
I'm putting music on my phone.
Gah.
I had plans to go to a cycling class with Cat.
I also had plans to go to Open Mic.
Cat was busy, and open mic sounds awful...
GAASPPP MAYBE ILL SEE TYLER
OR SEE HIM TOMORROW
OR THIS WEEKEND
OR SOMETHING FUN!!!!!!!!
Im gonna do this:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Day 2 — Your Crush

Day 3 — Your parents

Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

Day 5 — Your dreams

Day 6 — A stranger

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Day 8 — Your favorite Internet friend

Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to

Day 11 — A deceased person you wish you could talk to

Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain

Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you

Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from

Day 15 — The person you miss the most

Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country

Day 17 — Someone from your childhood

Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be

Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind — good or bad

Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest

Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression

Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to

Day 23 — The last person you kissed

Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory

Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times

Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to

Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day

Day 28 — Someone that changed your life

Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to , but too afraid to

Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

hold me.



Today could of been so much better.
I'm in bed already.
It's 5:59pm.
I'm just...
not in the MOOD for anything!
I wish this stuffed dog was ...
warm.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

far.


Brian Adams once asked me,
"What do you think some good qualities about yourself are?"
"I'm creative, caring, and I know when to stop talking."
"Well, you're definitely the first to say that one."

royal.


I feel positively ecstatic.
Apart from the inevitable glee that spawns from Tyler's visits, I feel...
not tired at all. ENERGETIC WOULD BE THE WORD!!!
So far, I've taken a shower and now I'm waiting,
waiting,
waiting
until I can see Tyler.
Tyler.
Tyler.
It could be all the candy that's making me so HAPPY but I doubt it!!!
Doubt
dowt
daught
dought
dout
Silent B, what a stupid invention.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

lively bunch.




...

Yesterday was pretty good.
I stayed home until Cat came and got me!
I went out to dinner at Applebee's with her family, her cousin was having a birthday party.
We ate and went to get Ben, who joined us in going to Walmart to buy...lady stuff.
Then we headed to my house and talked about pregnancy and birth defects and the like.
Then I fell asleep.



Thursday, April 14, 2011

subtle differences.



Anger is the worst of all the emotions.
I'm sicksicksicksick of it.
And I hate
crying!
Everything's all better, now, but still.
The feeling of being so close to losing someone who means so much is scary.
There's no school today.
Ashlyn's sleeping my bed.
Sunday's too far away.
"Good intentions, horrible execution."

Saturday, April 9, 2011

dick status.

I'm really excited to head home tomorrow. I get to spend time with Tyler which is always fun.
Uh..let's see.
Yesterday I cut my hair off. It became a bother.
I hate dogs and I like mexican food.
I wanna go home home home home and sleep forever!

Friday, April 8, 2011

i was never really insane..

...except upon occasions when my heart was touched.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

stop shitting yourself!

I'm at my mom's for idunnohowlong
This morning was the worst, and tomorrow might be better.
She might try to make me move up here.
HAHAHAHA no that's fine.
Im fine.
I just wanna be uhmmm
happy.
and I am!

Monday, April 4, 2011

counselor.

Borrrriiiinngggg.
Today was pretty okay.
I'm in a talky mood.
tylertylertylertylertylertyleriwannatalktotyler

Sunday, April 3, 2011

urge.

I'm going to try this blog entry aligned to the left.
Anyway.
Yesterday was great. Ashlynd, Justin, and Brandon came over. Ash, Ashtray, and Justin did photoshoot, when Brandon and I attempted soft pretzels. (fail) Then, randomly, Tyler said he could come over. And he did.
I WAS SO HAPPY and I'm still happy and...
tomorrow should be pretty good.
Augh, mondays.
Summer's getting closer.
God help us
):

Saturday, April 2, 2011

asymmetrical.


I like to watch people.
I like to find things.
I like to run and steal and take pictures.
I want to live, I want to be happy.
I want to spend everyday like it's my last.
The rules have never mattered to me. I hate being normal. I hate feeling like anyone else. Blending in scares me. If I lose my freedom and uniqueness, I feel that would be the death of me.
Literally? Of course not. Emotionally and socially, I'd be nothing.
My life isn't a boring one. I like being me, mainly because I'm all I know HOW to be.
Wake up, shower, blow dry hair over your face. Go to school and show that face to one hundred other two-faced faces.
I don't find it hard to find a friendly face in there, however.
People seem to like me.
Or, at least, I don't have any enemies.
Gotta enjoy the little things.
Actually no, fuck that.
I'm leaving.