vacation.

i'm leaving in a bit :) mary just has to get done dressing, we'll put stuff in the truck, we'll go pick up kim, and it'll be a good-ass week!

kim was all, "iiii don't wanna go..." so yeah.

but now shes all "yay i can go now!" YAY

Which is a very, very, very good thing. I'm so excited.

But, we need to find a tent or else we'll be sleeping under the stars D':

Which is a very, very ,very bad thing!

Oh well. I'm gonna miss ZACHARY <3>

I love everything right about now.

including

well

youknowwho

so, I'm gonna go..mosey around

LOVE YOU

greetings.

i haven't done this in forever! hi <3

i guess i'm sorry, internet diary.

i'll recap the past couple weeks!

-fourth of july with cat, mack, eric, ash and tommy

-me and zach fought too fucking much and i'm quite..damaged but it's whatever because he loves me again!

-hanging with eric and ashlyn more which is fun!

-more of those nights with all the guyysss at my house eating snacks and playing video games

-hmm. i don't know.

gonna go camping with kim soon. which is fun.

ashlyn left for Cancun today, which sucks major dick.

why did i capitalize that?

i don't know.

well,

today was fine! saw mack and cat and eric and ashlyn. me, mack and eric went to joryville park. i used the restroom and i was wearing gloves as shoes and i used eric's phone as a flashlight and almost dropped it into the toilet. oops. gave zach my kitten that me and kim found at another park.

anyway.

all of that stuff doesn't really matter. zach hates me, again.

it doesn't matter, because of course, i deserve it.

i wish i was a better person.

i wish zach didnt bring out the awful, disgusting person inside.

goodbye, world.

im gonna be gone for a long long time.

goodbye.

see you later, salem.

maybe i won't come back.

hopefully.

going to vancouver to stay at mary's, do fireworks, watch the big ones.

it's gonna be pretty fun i think.

also, i guess cat, eric, and tommy are coming too?

sure.

then my mom's house.

then when i come back,

going camping/zip lines/jet skiing with kim.

it's gonna be amazing.

i<3kimberwee>

oh well.

time to go...pack?

bye.

♥/kay-tee

murder.

my neck and head hurts so FUCKING bad.

i got to hang out with eric, nathan, and ashlyn.

which is always fun.

we captured a chicken at woodmansee,

killed it,

cleaned it,

boiled it and we now have a broth, etc for our chicken and dumplings tomorrow.

eww.

got yelled at from zach again.

eric and ashlyn decided to give me their opinions on our relationship.

do i want to be 'treated like that'? i think i'm treated just fine.

i wish people didnt see zach as a mean person.

well, he can be, when i give him reasons to be.

but at the same time, i don't want everyone knowing how much of a bitch i am.

maybe it's fair.

am i giving up? no. i just don't really see the point in going on, this is like chewing gum with no flavour

i don't know why it's so hard to say this to zachary,

even though he reads this.

i'm deathly afraid of him.

(BRB ASPIRIN)

okay

i also took nyquil

im not even sick but i'm also not tired

so

umm

idk.

why does it seem so...easy for everyone to be like "yep, dump him, move on, it's okay"

when im being shallow and like "NO! I LOVE HIM AND SHUT UP BECAUSE I DONT WANT HIM TO DATE PRETTIER WOMEN WAHH"

that...that's pretty true.

the point of all this:

i'm afraid of zachary moving on, dating other people and realizing that he was missing nothing; except for a year of his life.