weird.

ffffdddddddddrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhle

I don't knowwwwwwwwww

Mondaymondaymondaymonday

there's no school today

so

I guess Ill

see

tyler

and

STUFFFFFF

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WEEEEEEE

honey.

Today didn't suck.

I went to the arcade and had dinner with Mary and my father...

...and I want to talk to Tyler,

so,

so,

so,

bad.

But he...

won't answer his phone...

I'm going to listen to this voicemail over and over again until I understand it.

tell me what you can.

I don't know who I am.

But it's okay, because I like who I'm not.

I hope to one day make things better.

Not just for me, but for everyone else.

I know that there is such thing as happiness,

and as long as I have you by my side,

I won't have to worry.

tears?

I feel like I deserve to be sad. And it's hitting me harder than ever.

I'm so tired of being called a whore, and to kill myself.

Why, why, why.

I hate so many things.

I don't want to be here.

finally.

I PASSED ALL MY FINALS AND I AM SOOOOO HAPPY

It won't help my cruddy grades,

but,

but,

but,

I'm still happy.

Now it's time for THREE DAY WEEKEND!!!

jay-steen.

Justin is over!!!

He's in my top five list of favourite people.

We got taco bell and took picture(s) downtown and it was fantastic, and uhmmm.

Now we're at my house.

Not doing much

:P

one hundred.

It's my one hundredth post!

I had a lot more.

Then I deleted a bunch.

My finals went by pretty fantastically today. I had Biology, Health, and English. I thought these were my hardest classes, but I passed all 3, and I'm very happy with myself. (especially by skipping Biology for two months and managing to get a B.. :)

I'm nervous for the new semester, I don't want to know my classes, I get really anxious when I think about it, and I'll probably have to stop drawing and the whole social life thing will be gone and I'll be isolating myself to do hours upon hours of homework and I just..hate the idea of...this.

But it's whatever.

I'm not in the GREATEST mood, even though it's really sunny outside.

Time to wait for Tyler to "call me tonight"

:D

us.

Can I just start by saying I love you?

Since August 13th, when I first met you,

I haven't stopped smiling.

It's almost February, and I cannot believe I am lucky enough that I get to see you

every

single

day.

Anyway.

Today was incredible. Finals went by real fast, Tyler came over, and we had generally a perfect time.

Unfortunately I was half asleep for most of this.

:S

But no worries! I made a sandwich and I'm surprised I'm awake still...

I changed the uhhhhhhhhh layout of this blog.

I think it looks pretty snazzy.

Yellows my favourite colour.

:D

mackenzie layne.

Mackenzie is over, and it's about...8:45pm.

Ashlyns making food and smoothies and I quite possibly could be working with him at Baskin Robbins. Oh, and Ash.

I guess it's time to make a resume.

And I really need to get my shit together next semester or....

.....Well.

Ill hate myself.

no comment.

Today was painful.

Painful for Eric to come over and Ashlyn so bluntly refusing his presence.

Painful to see Tommy be so upset at his brother's friends.

Painful to swallow the second peanut butter and jelly sandwich I made.

Extra chunky peanut butter, even.

The day started with a too-long shower. Eric came over and Ashlyn didn't want him over and I felt awkward since I'm a reason to be there still and....sigh.~

We went to Roth's and met with Mackenzie who was returning cans and bottles, so we did that with him without much conversation. Then we headed to Eric's to fix a bike, but we didn't have the right parts, so we uhhh.

Went back to the Roth's area where Eric's van was located still. We sat in the mexican restaurant around there and ate chips and talked about relationshippy stuff and exes and how much relationships suck unless you're actually in one. During this time, I was staring at Tyler's house, (or at least what would of been Tylers house if there weren't cars, trees, or houses in the way)

Then we went to Tommy's house. I read a book as Tommy/Mackenzie napped and Nate and his friends were being quite obnoxious. You could tell it really bugged Tommy. ):
I made my second peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I ate it and continued reading.

Okay and then uhh, we all decided to go to THE WALMART SUPERCENTER!!!!!

WOO! We listened to music and I was half asleep on the ride there, in the store, on the ride back.

We got ice cream at Baskin Robbins as Ashlyn was working.

A very decent day.

Tried calling Tyler but ehhh. I guess I'll just go to bed.

But Mackenzie/Tommy/Ash are gonna be here around 11...

......

.........

...........

yeah I should put some pants on.

GOOD NIIIGHT&i love you as always

backwards.

There's really nothing to be complaining about.

I mean,

I mean, like,

uhh,

I mean,

everything's okay.

I was trying to list some great thing other than Tyler but I couldn't do it.

don't stop me now.

I hate Queen almost as much as I hate how much I love them.

Today was a B day.

I witnessed Chris and Betino get into a very gruesome uhh, fight.

:I

It's upsetting.

Nothing else.

HHMRMRPH. Im pretty upset.

Mainly because it's not late enough to go to bed, yet.

no, honestly.

I don't know what to say about today.

It all sounds really douchey no matter how I word it.

Uhhh.

I give up.

tasteful.

i love you more.

j.t. yorke.

I've been at my mom's house for the past couple days.

It's been pretty ...

good. But slow! So far we have went out to red lobster, do some miscellaneous shopping, and slept in.

And for me, that's about 9:30am.

.... |:(

Today, nothing really happened. Took a bubble bath, had an urge to cut all my hair off.

But I probably won't do it.

Drawing the Griffith sisters and sharing a snack with my mother.

I want to cuddle.

addiction.

I want to go somewhere.

But at the same time,

I just want to stay home and curl up and sleep and mourn the death of Kimberly and I's friendship.

Not like I've anything to complain about.

Relatively, my current problem is very very insignificant.

Three day weekends means three days of doing nothing.
nooo

admiration.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

I love all of you.

You are all such NICE PEOPLE

aaaaaand I need you in my life.

:)

freckles.

1.) Kim removed me as a friend on Facebook.

2.) No one's happy lately.

3.) I want to run away.

a. No where to go

b. No where to come back to

4.) Relationships are weird.

a. I can't make Tyler smile.

b. I'm codependent and creepy.

c. I don't deserve Tyler.

5.) I wish I had a phone that worked.

a. People who would text back would be cool, too.

6.) I want to hang out with my friends.

7.) I want to leave Sprague.

8.) I want to go to Alaska.

a.) It's only 282 dollars.

9.) I need to sleep more.

deliciously erotic.

school tomorrow is going to be incredible.

:)

requests.

SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ASKING ME TO DRAW THEM AND QUITE HONESTLY ALL I WANT TO DO IS SLEEEEPPP

I've been nauseous all day and that's fun.

So far I've drawn Jessie, Parker, Collyn, and Brady. I am kind of super stressed because I don't want to disappoint them or anything, but at the same time drawing gets old...

I'm talking to Tommy, and I'm seriously going crazy.

I don't want to draw Tianna, Cody, Devon, Lucas, or "Tiger Love". I would rather shove nails in my eyes. I hate this. Fuck drawing. FUCKCKCCKCKKCFCUFKCUFCU

It's okay though.

But I can't say no to anyone....~

I want Tyler to be here.

That'd make everything a-okay.

gingerale.

I had a pretty fantastic night with my friends yesterday.

It started when Mac came over at 1ish with Taco Bell and we watched Degrassi and Spongebob. Then soon enough we were joined by Tommy, Ben, and Cat, way earlier than expected. I still hadn't went shopping or anything but it was okay. We went out to buy hair bleach and sushi and then went home just in time for a talk with Ben and Tommy. Tyler walked in and I was so very happy to see him, after it was like..a week or eight. We hugged and such and then...I really can't remember anything else. I guess we all talked while Cat and I went to dye our hairs. We showered, and it turned out pretty badass. Then I crawled into bed because at this point I was exhausted and I think I fell asleep for at least 3 minutes. :D OHHH and then Mac arrived (he had left to spend time with other friends) and ...yeah. Then they all went into the next room and left Tyler and I alone for the most part where we had some conversational ...conversations. And stuff. :D

Then we all went into the living room where we watched the ball drop and I got a lovely new years kiss, and it was our 3 month anniversary. So we celebrated.

It was a pretty fantastic, and today I have nothing planned

Oh well.

Ill probably go back to bed. a LOT of people left stuff at my houuuseeeee ahhh!